To Realize your Purpose

I've always had a habit of comparing myself to other people. I wanted to 'fit in' and 'belong'. I looked towards others as examples for how I should walk, talk, dress and express myself. When it came to the point of finding a purpose for myself in this world, when the teacher would sit you down at the end of high-school and ask you what direction you're wanting to go into and what job you see yourself doing, I couldn't come up with an answer. I had never asked myself those questions since I was so used to doing what I saw others around me doing.

So I ended up following a friend into college but then eventually ended up dropping out because on some level I knew that what I was doing just wasn't 'me'. It was then that I started to become aware that something about how I'm living my 'purpose' was skewed as I simply couldn't see any for myself in this world. I'd gotten so used to just following other people that once I needed to make a decision for myself, I drew a blank and felt lost.

I simply didn't see a 'potential' within myself. I saw no real valuable skills or abilities and so I saw no purpose in terms of a job or carrier I could pursue in this world. I felt like I didn't know who I was and when I looked around me it seemed that everyone else had some point of purpose that they were living. To everyone else it seemed to come so naturally to choose a profession, a field of study, a direction, an interest, but for me it felt like floating in a sea of nothingness inside myself. I could not see a clear point of 'purpose' so I figured I'll just keep drifting along and see where life takes me.

I was participating in the illusion of purpose, existent in the context of comparison and competition. Because of my tendency to compare myself with others, I could never see myself as who I actually was. I could only see how I wasn't what I saw in others and so found myself lacking in skills, abilities, value and purpose. In the illusion of purpose, you're always comparing and competing with other people because purpose is defined as something that exists outside of yourself - as something to achieve and do and be and become. Something that you aren't yet and that you need to get to. The illusion of purpose is where you discard who you are inside and believe there is this 'something' outside of yourself that you need to be, become and do.

With real purpose, you let go of any beliefs or ideas you have about what you should be or do in your life, you let go of the competition and comparison and you purely look at who you are. You look at the reality of yourself and you just look at your 'location point' in this world. Location point as in realizing that each being has a unique expression and is walking a unique life-path and therefore has a unique role to play within reality. We won't all achieve, do, become and live the same purpose because we're simply not all the same. The role you play in terms of your 'purpose' that you're living in this world is going to be unique and so cannot be compared. It's something you'll need to realize for yourself  by getting to know yourself first. 

So living your purpose is about looking at yourself and who you already are and how you already exist. Actually getting to know yourself, meeting yourself for the first time. It's there that you'll find your purpose, when you start to see, realize and appreciate your unique, stand-alone expression and therein see what you could uniquely contribute to this world and reality. 

There's no sense comparing yourself to others because your expression, and so your purpose, will be entirely your own and does not exist in the context of competition. The moment you in any way compare and compete with an other's purpose, you lose your own purpose as you're not looking at 'you'.

The way to start living your purpose is by stopping yourself whenever you catch yourself comparing with another person's purpose - whenever you believe you should be doing what someone else is doing or living the way someone else is living - and to direct your focus towards yourself and getting to know yourself instead. That point of comparison is actually showing you that you haven't met yourself yet.

You've been discarding yourself by participating in comparison and competition as the illusion of purpose, trying to be like others or like an idea you have of who you should be instead of seeing and recognizing your unique expression. There should exist no one other than you inside of yourself. No one to compare yourself to. Only you. And it's in that space where only you exist that you can see yourself clearly and start recognizing your unique purpose as your self-expression that's waiting to be honored and realized.

Kim Amourette